Please Don't
by hdel.15
Summary: Inspired by the music video for "Please Don't" by K.Will. Miroku and InuYasha have been best friends since elementary school. They have a special bond that has withstood the tests of time. Their relationship means the world to both of them, especially Miroku, but what happens when someone new comes along and starts to occupy InuYasha's time and attention?
1. Chapter 1

Please Don't

 **Author's Note:** _This is my first time writing a fanfiction story in about six years. I may be rusty at the fanfiction game, but my writing has improved. This story was inspired by the music video for "Please Don't" by K. Will, one of my favorite k-pop songs. (The story may be a spoiler for the video, so watch it first!)_

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or the song mentioned in the summaries.

 **Chapter 1**

"Dude, where are you?!" Miroku groaned into his cell phone. "We're gonna be late for the show."

"I'm sorry, man. I may have to take a raincheck again," InuYasha replied hesitantly.

Miroku sighed as his heart sank. This was the fifth time in a row that InuYasha has cancelled their plans at the last minute. All because of her, no doubt.

"Alright, man. Whatever," Miroku quipped as he sulked.

InuYasha instantly felt guilty, but he couldn't go back now. "Come on, man! I'll make it up to you. You know I always do!"

"Yeah, I was just really looking forward to this show. It's been a while since we last-"

"Oh hey, Miroku, I'm really sorry but I gotta go. You know how she gets. There will be other shows! It won't be long before I see you again," InuYasha hurriedly explained. "Look out for a call later tonight."

Miroku sighed as a beeping tone sounded in his ear. InuYasha was gone. He grew frustrated, but took this unplanned free time to reminisce on old times.

Miroku and InuYasha have been best friends their entire lives. They met back in elementary school, on the playground.

 _A young Miroku was playing by himself with pebbles that he collected from the ground. He hummed happily while he peered at his warped reflection in the small stones, reveling in the clacking sound they made as he rolled them around in his small hands. He picked one up and slowly ran his thumb back and forth over the silken surface. The coolness of the stones countered the warmth of his fingers-a satisfying sensation. He was lost in his own little world when a group of boys came over and disrupted his mini paradise._

 _"Oh looky here," one of the boys snarled. "Looks like the weirdo is playing by himself again!"_

 _"Heh! Serves him right," another boy spat. He kicked up dirt into Miroku's face while the others laughed._

 _Miroku only sighed. He was used to this. A lot of kids treated him poorly because he was different...or at least that's what his mother told him. Other kids, especially this bunch, were always mean or they excluded him from their groups. When he told his mother, she explained that there was something special about him that the other boys did not understand, but that he should be proud of who he is. It would take years before Miroku truly understood her words._

 _A third boy walked up behind Miroku while he tried fruitlessly to swipe the dirt from his stinging eyes. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his scalp and neck while his head was snapped backwards._

 _"Take this you little fairy!"_

 _Before he could recover, Miroku was barraged with blows from all sides. Everything was spinning and out of focus. He couldn't tell where each kick was coming from next. The pain from different parts of his body diffused like ink stains on fabric until it pooled altogether and became one. His whole body ached but he would feel a flare-up of pain at irregular intervals as the boys stomped all over him._

 _"Sissy!"_

 _"This is what you get, you weirdo!"_

 _"You should really just die!"_

 _All of the pain in his body began to numb as a crushing feeling in his chest took over._

 _"Why mommy?" he thought to himself as he put his arms up to guard his face. "What is it about me that they hate so much?"_

 _He began to give in and eventually submitted to the boys who towered over him. Warm, silent rivers gushed from the corners of his eyes while he lay as still as his dying heart._

 _"OWWW!"_

 _Miroku's head shot up when he heard a cry come from above. His vision was blurred and the sun blinded him further, leaving him unable to make out what was happening._

 _"Get out of here you cowards!" exclaimed an unfamiliar voice._

 _The growing pain stagnated in the absence of punches and kicks. Miroku slowly recovered while he heard his attackers scream and run away. He could vaguely see one boy struggling to pull a severe wedgie from his bottom while he ran away after his friends._

 _Suddenly, a clawed hand was thrusted into his face. "Here, can you stand?"_

 _Miroku took the hand in front of him and sat up. He felt another hand brushing the mulch off of his back, and he timidly looked up to meet the gaze of his rescuer. The deep eggplant of his eyes melded with brilliant gold. He felt more pressure in his chest, but this time it was euphoric instead of suffocating._

 _"Are you alright," the boy before him asked in earnest._

 _The boy had pale strands of silk extending from his scalp to his waist. They reflected silver beams in the sunlight as they gently floated around his full lips and button nose, getting caught in the fine peach fuzz that softly spanned his cheeks. His golden eyes somehow sparkled even though they were darkened with sadness, anger and concern. Miroku felt his heart stutter as he gazed back. Atop the boy's glorious head of hair sat two perky dog ears; an endearing juxtaposition to the godlike features that took Miroku's breath away._

 _"Yoo-hoooo," the boy sang as he waved his hand in front of Miroku's face._

 _Miroku gasped and then cleared his throat. "I'm good. Thanks," he said breathlessly._

 _"That's good," the boy replied as he stood, pulling Miroku up with him. "Those guys are jerks and they got what they deserved. I'm tired of them messing with you. You can just stick around me from now on. They wouldn't dare try anything again."_

 _Miroku felt his face heat up from embarrassment, but he choked his ego down and accepted the beautiful boy's kindness. "Thanks."_

 _"No problem. I'm InuYasha, by the way. What's your name," the boy asked while cocking his head to the side in curiosity. His cute dog ears twitched._

 _Miroku blushed again, but for a different reason this time. The boy... InuYasha... InuYasha was so cute. "I'm Miroku."_

 _"Nice to meet you, Miroku." InuYasha grabbed his new buddy and put him in a playful headlock. "You gotta toughen up! But let's stick together from now on."_

Ever since that day, the two were stuck on each other like white on rice. Thick as thieves. Two peas in a pod. They were the best of friends and were completely inseparable...that is, until _she_ came along.

 **Author's Note:** Thank you for reading and please review! Feels good to be back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Miroku's head hung as he slowly shuffled down the sidewalk, rolling little rocks beneath his sneakers. These pebbles were dull and gray. Rough and artificial, like the cement sidewalk they broke free from. There was no reflection of himself to be seen, but Miroku was trapped within his own thoughts anyway.

He wanted to be happy for his friend. InuYasha has found love after all this time. Although he was the one who rescued him that day on the playground, InuYasha was always alone, too. The kids would pick on him until they realized how strong he was. Then they just resorted to spreading rumors and isolating him. Back then, Miroku had realized that they had a lot more in common than he originally thought. The glorious idea of InuYasha being his gorgeous, demigod savior rippled when he realized InuYasha had the same struggles as his own.

Once the two of them became friends, they did everything together. They sat together at lunch, had playdates, did homework together, and told each other all of their desires and secrets. InuYasha's biggest secret had been that he was infatuated with Kikyo Saito. Kikyo was one of the most popular girls in school. She was beautiful, with pale skin and long obsidian locks. She was a rich girl whose parents were very strict and monitored her every move. They would have never allowed Kikyo to hang around InuYasha, the rumored ruffian and troublemaker. As a result, InuYasha could only admire Kikyo from afar, without her ever knowing of his existence. Miroku could understand this feeling of having someone he desired so close yet still out of his reach.

Growing up, InuYasha always struggled with romance and forming other relationships, but Miroku was there every step of the way. Finally, in college, InuYasha's luck turned around. It was their freshman year and they had gone to a meeting to join an engineering club. When they got up to leave at the end, InuYasha caught sight of a gorgeous girl near the exit. She was similar to Kikyo in a lot of ways, but still had her own unique beauty. Her silken hair was a deep black with natural blue undertones. Her skin was clear and smooth, but slightly more tan than Kikyo's. She had full pink lips and a cute, perky nose. Her eyes were large and shimmery, like deep chocolate, light-filled orbs.

Miroku had looked over to his friend when he stopped dead in his tracks. He saw what he was looking at and his heart sank. He knew that look. InuYasha was smitten again...with someone else. He had shaken his head to try and clear his selfish, brooding thoughts. He knew he needed to get over his crush on his friend. It would never be reciprocated.

After some time, InuYasha finally met the girl they first saw at the engineering club. Turned out her name was Kagome Higurashi and she actually came from their hometown. It didn't take long for Kagome and InuYasha to fall hard for each other. At first, Miroku's relationship with InuYasha was respectfully kept separate from Kagome's. But that was back in college. Now, all three have since graduated, and Kagome is still around.

Miroku is happy that InuYasha has someone that truly loves him. Kagome is a great girl. She's beautiful, kind, feisty and brilliant. She comes from a nice family that is very accepting and warm. There is absolutely no fault to find in Kagome and she's great for InuYasha. But Miroku's heart says otherwise. As of late, she's the reason why he has felt alone again. He thought those days of bearing the pain of loneliness and emptiness in his heart were gone forever. Now he feels like he is staring them in the face again.

Miroku knows he shouldn't be selfish. Obviously, they were going to grow up and life was going to change things at some point. But it was still hard to deal with the reality. Miroku had used InuYasha's unwavering friendship as a crutch for too long. While he did have a lot of fun in college, he did not spread his wings and explore as much as he could have. He's still young, so he still can. But the question is, does he want to?

Miroku shook his head at himself. He pulled out his cell phone to check the time. He sighed. They would have still been at the concert right about now. They had talked about these tickets for months. Miroku got them at a discount from an old friend, and he and InuYasha planned their entire night days in advance. But as soon as Kagome comes calling, InuYasha bows out. Miroku felt a pang in his chest and a prickling sensation in his eyes. He shook his head again and steeled himself. Biting back the sorrow, he told himself that he needed to keep the jealousy in check or risk losing InuYasha altogether. Kagome is here to stay. That is all. He just wished things could go back to how they were in college when he didn't feel like he was competing with her.

InuYasha is a good friend and he wouldn't just bail on Miroku for anyone. In fact, until recently he wouldn't even do it for Kagome. But now that has changed and there have been many plans that were cancelled at the last minute because Kagome popped up out of nowhere. And Kagome herself is a polite person. She would not intentionally interfere with Miroku and InuYasha's relationship. Although it is not vindictive on either of their parts, Miroku cannot help the bitterness growing inside him.

Miroku looked up and realized that he was at his apartment door. He was so lost in his thoughts that the trip home was a total blur. But ultimately, he was just glad to see his bed again. As he plopped down on his sheets, he sighed again. He scoffed at himself. He seemed to be sighing a lot lately. He curled up and thanked the stars and heavens above as his muscles began to relax. The room steadily grew dark and his mind cleared as sleep graced him and benevolently whisked his woes away for the night.

 **Author's Note:** I would love to hear your feedback, so please review!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Miroku fidgeted in his seat, trying fruitlessly to bite back his excitement. He jiggled his feet under the table, eyes peering out the window and darting around for a glimpse of silver. For the first time in a while, InuYasha kept his promise. They were having lunch today.

He took a deep breath and released it slowly. Then, he shook his head at himself.

 _"Look at me, getting all giddy like a schoolgirl. Let me not set myself up for disappointment..."_

His heart felt a little pang at his own thoughts. Would InuYasha flake again? Would all of the planning and excitement amount to nothing again? Would Kagome come first again?

He shook his head once more. _"I'm being too pressed. This is my friend."_

He went back to staring out the window and got lost in his own little world. Suddenly, he felt two heavy hands smack down against his shoulders. He jumped and his heart lurched against his chest. While he struggled to compose himself, he couldn't fight the smile that tugged on his lips hearing the hearty cackling coming from his friend.

Miroku rolled his eyes as InuYasha plopped down in the seat across from him.

"Oh man! Oh man, Mi-Miroku you should have seen how you jumped, man!" InuYasha managed between laughs. He promptly resumed his uncontrollable cackling.

Miroku just stared at him, his eyes narrowing as he fought back his own laughter. He sucked his teeth.

"Whatever, man. You're late."

InuYasha cleared his throat and dried the corners of his eyes. "I'm sorry. I had to do some last minute shopping for the party later."

Miroku nodded. After their late lunch, the next plan on the agenda was a party at InuYasha's apartment. It was going to be a casual gathering of their close friends, just for old time's sake. They were looking forward to it.

"Yeah, did you get all of that done?" he asked.

InuYasha nodded. "But anyway, how are things going, man? I know I've been flaking on you a lot lately. How've you been?"

Despite himself, Miroku felt warmth fill his chest. He smiled.

"No worries, I've been good. Work is going good and everything. I just recently started studying religion."

"Religion?" InuYasha cocked his head to the side. "What brought that on?"

As Miroku explained his newfound interest in exploring what may lie in the cosmos, InuYasha listened intently. Miroku peered into his shimmering eyes, which glistened with curiosity. His own voice faded into the background as he examined the person before him. His eyes scanned InuYasha's perfect face and traced each delicate, yet chiseled feature. He refreshed his memory of every contour and every curve. He spanned his entire countenance, eventually landing on his lips. When Miroku noticed his thoughts going south, he glanced up at the dog ears perched atop InuYasha's silver crown. He smiled again, amused by his friend's cute features.

"So anyway, that's how I ended up looking into Buddhism and that's basically where I'm at with it right now," Miroku concluded his long spiel.

InuYasha nodded, deep in thought. "That's honestly really cool. I'm glad you found something you're interested in and stuck to it. That's hard to do while balancing real adult life."

They shared a knowing laugh.

"No, but for real," InuYasha continued. "I'll pick up one hobby and then abandon it for work before it even gets up off the ground. And then when I finally have time to think about activities again, I'm considering something completely new. I can't stick to just one. I've gone from basketball to fencing to soccer to chess to archery and now I'm on sword fighting. But we'll see whether or not that lasts."

Miroku chuckled and shook his head. "You always have been rather impulsive, my friend."

InuYasha shrugged.

The two continued to catch up over lunch. They finished their meals with a cup of coffee and then got ready to head out.

"Oh yeah," said Miroku, "did you need a speaker for music? 'Cuz I know the DJ flaked."

"Oh no, I got that covered," InuYasha replied. "Thanks, though."

"No problem." Miroku grew quiet for a moment. Then he asked, "Is Kagome coming?"

 _"What a stupid question,"_ he thought. _"Of course she's coming."_

InuYasha beamed. "Yeah she's coming," he said with a large grin. "This party's gonna be great."

They walked in silence until they split ways to get to their cars.

Miroku walked around the party, red cup in hand as he chatted with old college friends in an attempt to catch up. The party was nice. Everyone was relaxed, munching on snacks and enjoying the music. For the most part, it took his mind off of his usual brooding thoughts.

"Hey Miroku!" he heard from behind him as a hand came down on his shoulders. He turned toward the voice and met the eyes of an old acquaintance.

"Hojo? Damn, what's up?! How are you?" Miroku returned the friendly greeting but internally scoffed.

He had always held a bit of contempt for Hojo. Kagome's biggest fan in college was Hojo Akitoki. He would follow Kagome anywhere. It was painfully obvious to everyone that he was completely in love with her, but he never made his move. Miroku felt that if Hojo had more of a backbone, Kagome wouldn't occupy so much of InuYasha's time and heart. So the fact that Hojo never manned up and made a move brought him plenty of side-eye from Miroku. Although, he was too oblivious to notice.

Hojo chuckled. "I'm great, man. Wow, it has been years since I last saw you. What are you up to now?"

Miroku kept up the hollow conversation with the bane of his existence, but his eyes trailed InuYasha as he nervously slipped away from the group and into the kitchen. _"What is he up to?"_

In the kitchen, InuYasha fruitlessly tried to slow his throbbing heart. "Okay, relax. Relax, relax, relax," he whispered to himself. Unfortunately, his words had no effect and the pressure in his chest worsened. His hands shook as he gingerly took a small velvet box out of his pocket. He opened it and smiled. He then steeled himself and whispered, "today's the day."

Kagome sat on the couch, laughing at her friend Ayumi's horror stories about her multiple exes. She shook her head at her friend's bad luck.

"Ayumi! I don't know how you do it. Guys are a mess but I feel like you shouldn't be struggling this much!" Kagome exclaimed between giggles.

"Who are you telling, Kagome?" Ayumi replied.

The girls continued their conversation and the bustle of the party went on around them. Suddenly, the music paused. People slowly quieted down and looked around for the source of the interruption. InuYasha emerged in the middle of the living room, looking flush.

"Hey guys, thank you all for coming out. It's nice to finally see everyone and catch up on old times," InuYasha began. His nervous chuckles followed.

Miroku stared at InuYasha, unblinking. A sinking feeling set into his chest.

InuYasha cleared his throat, hyper-aware of all the curious eyes begging to know what the rest of his speech is about. "So, in the midst of old friends and good friends getting back together to chat, I wanted to make a very special request of someone very dear to me."

Miroku's heart stopped.

Kagome stared up at InuYasha from the couch, her heart pounding.

InuYasha fixed his eyes on hers. He cleared his throat once again. "Kagome Higurashi..."

 _"No... No... it can't- He can't be- Already?"_ Miroku began to panic internally as the fissures in his heart reopened.

InuYasha slowly dropped to one knee. Squeals erupted from all the women in the room. Kagome's eyes began to water and she leaned forward in her seat.

"Kagome... we've been on this journey together for a few years now. Every moment with you has been priceless, and has made me undeniably happy. I want to make sure that from here on out, I make you undeniably happy for the rest of our lives. From the time I first saw you..."

InuYasha's words slowly became muffled as Miroku's heartbeat drowned out the sounds, steadily increasing in intensity like incoming war drums. His mouth grew dry as reality set in. He bit back tears and shook his head at himself.

 _"What am I getting upset for? I knew this day was coming. InuYasha and I can never be. Just accept it, you're losing your friend. That's it. Accept it..."_

Everything seemed to progress in a rapid whirlwind. Kagome broke down crying and accepted InuYasha's proposal with a passionate hug and kiss. The other women in the room cried with her while all the guys cheered InuYasha on. People were jumping up and down and rushing to the newly engaged couple to congratulate them and wish them the best. All the while Miroku's world was coming crumbling down. He couldn't even fully hide it, putting a weak half-smile on his face as he processed what was going on. His chest actually felt numb and empty, but the churning in his stomach and the jealous thoughts in his head reminded him that he was far from being over it.

Suddenly, the next worst thing that could happen happened. InuYasha called him up to the center of the living room. Instantly, all eyes were on him. They were all filled with joy while he was sure his were shrouded by the opposite. Miroku bit back his bitterness and jogged over to the happy couple.

InuYasha slapped Miroku on the back. "Everybody already knows that me and this man have been thick as thieves for as long as we can remember." The whole room nodded and chuckled. "Yeah, Miroku is the realest friend I have ever had. I love you more than life itself, man."

Miroku forced a smile as the feeling in his chest returned, only for a wretched cracking sensation to rip through it. _"If only you really meant that..."_

"Because you are the best friend I have had my whole life," InuYasha continued, "I want to ask you to be my best man."

Miroku looked back at his friend. InuYasha's golden eyes sparkled and glimmered in the way that they do. Total happiness radiated from him as he awaited Miroku's reply. So many emotions rippled through Miroku. He longed for the numbness to come back.

"Of course. I would be honored," was what he managed to utter through a pained smile.

The room erupted in cheers again. Kagome and InuYasha shared a kiss while Ayumi brought out a bottle of champagne to celebrate. The night went on with more music, booze, food and cheer.

At the end of the night, Miroku crashed onto his bed. He lied there reeling, wondering how he went from feeling on top of the world in the early afternoon to feeling like his heart was being crushed under a million tons. He ran a hand across his chest and neck, hoping to ease the pain. When it didn't work, he finally let the floodgates open. His eyes gushed while guttural sobs ripped from his aching chest. Anger, sorrow and longing gathered in the alcohol-induced whirlpool in his mind, taking him deeper and deeper into a depressive stupor. At first he fought back, but before long he decided to succumb to it all.

"Please don't go... Don't leave me alone," he whispered to himself. Thoughts of all the good ol' days flowed through his mind. All the way back to kindergarten, then middle school and high school, and finally college.

But it was no use. InuYasha was going to leave him behind. He will start his life with Kagome, and their friendship will never be the same again. Miroku expected nothing else, but he was unprepared for the paralyzing pain and disappointment that ensued.

 _"Letting you go is not easy... Why won't this trembling go away?"_

He clutched his chest. As he tried to suppress the pain, he told himself to accept it. Just let go. Just forget it all. One day this pain will be numb. One day... His attempts to comfort himself were all for naught. His sorrow consumed him and his mind was flooded. What would it take for the pain to go away? How long must he endure it before it fades? How will he possibly last until then?

All of the cancelled plans... All of the last minute adjustments... The disappointment. The embarrassment. The frustration. All this comes with the territory of unrequited love. All this is to be expected from wanting someone in a way that they could never want you.

Even still, it's real. The bond is real. The love is real. The longing is real. The desire is real. The daydreams... the hopes... the-

And so what do those things matter? What do they matter when you cannot change the facts? The facts are the love is not returned and the pain is the realest of all. Heartbreak is real. Loneliness is real. Change is real...and life goes on. Even still, Miroku cried into the night:

"Please don't... please don't go..."


End file.
